So, basically-spoiler-free star-wars-7 review you say?

Perfectly decent film, solid four stars. Nothing to complain about that you can’t level equally at the first three. Interesting and engaging story, pretty to look at, plenty of space-ships and explosions. Even tentacle monsters. More dying-people than I’d have expected. Especially for a kids movie. Most horrifyingly at the hands of the tentacle monsters.

Basically the same criticism I always levelled at Star Wars over Star Trek: Too much magic. Damn Jedi religious nonsense.

And also too short: An hour a year? Really? Is that the most amount of Star Wars that you can make? A hour a year? I really have to wait two years for more?

Pah. This is why films are rubbish in general. I like my stories hundreds of hours long.

TV For The Win.

{I can’t vouch for spoilers in comments at all. Don’t read comments if you care about that. Obviously}