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I just got this weird email from a new address I seem to own.

I think that means I got the job! The boss sounds like a bastard. You know that “Stealth mode” stuff when really it’s just “I’ve no idea what I’m doing, just put anything up for now”.

The people you have to work with.


As your old corporeal form I congratulate you, that is me, on your new corporate existence.

I hope my gift of [XXXXXX] pounds to fund you in your path towards corporate growth and shareholder value will return many times the initial investment over the years, while appreciating that this could end up being the first of many instalments I certainly hope it will in fact be the last and that you will instead pay me in future.

I hope that even more fruitful than the cash-award is the sale of nearly a hundred limited-edition first-print prototypes of my new Wordcloud Tarot Deck. I wish you well in your corporate endeavour to sell them all and establish a market for more.

You may consider this email my invoice for [XXXX] pounds for those first few decks, and expect the net balance of our transaction [XXXXX] in your corporate bank account as soon as you can send me the details of your new account.

Thanks for the currently-unpaid position as director of your new limited liability company, I will use it primarily to find distributors and sellers deals and negotiate a price deal with yourself for the transfer of the copyrights over the new tarot-deck to your corporate entity before the company runs out of prototype decks to sell.

You are under instruction to hire no staff and get into no financial contract costing more than storage at amazon until further notice.

The prototype decks may be collected from my home by any member of your team at a time of your convenience when contracts with distributors are arranged, but be aware that the number of prototype decks delivered at that time will be reduced by the number of personal sales and promotional copies given to friends and family before that date.

I understand that you say there is still more interest than actual sales, but you’re not sure how many people are just not rushing because rushing won’t actually help it come any faster. You intend to continue to encourage friends and family to buy from you before the ownership of the decks are transferred to your corporate entity by sending reciprocal gifts to your paypal address.

But as you say, the end of August is the date. After that the Corporation created on the 2nd of August will take control.

I have already set up the new website at to represent your new corporate work-world entity. You will of course retain the soul use of your personal site which will continue to be your stupid blog for art and stuff.

So that should be easy for everyone: for you the cyber version of the meatspace person and for the corporate work-version of the limited-liability company owned by you.

As instructed the website contains no information about our product, and we will direct all future marketing at, the names of the legal entity representing the product must certainly be a back-burner project at the very best. Our focus must be on sales!

I hope this email will also serve as proof that your new corporate email address has been registered and you can receive registration-form’s proof-of-email messages the like, and that the SSL certificates are now registered and active.

How dare you make me work on a Sunday night! You monster!

I look forward to working with you in the future, and thank you for all the volunteer work your directorship will involve over the coming years. I hope you can last at least a couple of years before taxes and storage fees eat up whatever megre sales you can eek on the funds used to create the shares in your legal existence as a company.